Why planning for postpartum is just as important as planning for birth – and how to do it right

According to Dr. Ori Athen, head of Maternal and Reproductive Identity at Columbia State University in New York, we’ve historically lacked curiosity about mothers who thrive during postpartum. Her groundbreaking research reveals that the mothers who do exceptionally well aren’t superhuman – they’re simply better prepared.

The Secret to Postpartum Success: Good Forecasting

Dr. Athen’s studies show that mothers who have positive postpartum experiences share one crucial trait: they’re excellent forecasters. These women don’t love every minute of motherhood, and they’re not naturally gifted at parenting. Instead, they have **realistic expectations** about what life after birth will actually look like.

This finding aligns perfectly with the World Health Organization’s framework for positive postpartum experiences, which identifies three essential pillars:

1. Realistic Expectations
2. Conscious Preparation
3. Active Support

Understanding the Variables You Can’t Control

Before diving into what you can prepare for, it’s important to acknowledge what you can’t control. Your postpartum experience will be significantly influenced by:

• The type of birth you have – whether it goes according to plan or takes unexpected turns
• Your baby’s temperament – some babies are naturally easier than others
• Unexpected complications – both for you and your baby
• External circumstances – family situations, work pressures, or health issues

While you can’t control these factors, you can absolutely control how prepared you are to handle whatever comes your way.

The Three Pillars of Positive Postpartum Planning

Pillar 1: Realistic Expectations

The foundation of a positive postpartum experience starts with understanding what’s actually normal and expected during this period. Remember, mothering is a learned skill – it takes time to find your feet, and no one really knows what they’re doing at the start.

What to Realistically Expect:

Physical Recovery:

• Healing takes 6-8 weeks minimum, often longer
• Fatigue will be more intense than you’ve ever experienced
• Your body will feel different, and that’s normal
• Hormonal fluctuations will affect your emotions daily

Emotional Adjustments:

• Feeling overwhelmed is completely normal
• You may grieve your pre-baby life while simultaneously loving your new one – here, pain sits alongside joy, resentment alongside tenderness
• Identity shifts take time – you’re becoming a new version of yourself through matrescence
• Mood swings are expected due to hormonal changes

Baby Reality:

• Newborns sleep 16-17 hours per day, but in 2-3 hour chunks
• Crying peaks around 6 weeks and is normal communication
• Feeding (whether breast or bottle) takes time to establish
• Every baby is different – comparison is the thief of joy

Relationship Changes:

• Your partnership will need to be renegotiated
• Intimacy (physical and emotional) will look different
• Communication becomes more crucial than ever
• Extended family dynamics may shift

Pillar 2: Conscious Preparation

Being informed and aware before your baby arrives sets you up for success. This isn’t about having everything perfect – it’s about being mentally and practically prepared.

Essential Areas to Prepare:

Education and Information:

• Take postpartum preparation classes, not just birth classes
• Read evidence-based books about the fourth trimester
• Understand normal newborn behavior and development
• Learn about postpartum mental health warning signs

Practical Preparations:

• Stock your home with postpartum recovery supplies
• Prepare freezer meals or arrange meal delivery
• Set up comfortable feeding and resting stations
• Organize baby care essentials for easy access

Mental and Emotional Preparation:

• Discuss expectations with your partner
• Process any fears or anxieties about parenthood
• Consider therapy as essential care – not luxury, but necessity
• Practice stress management and coping techniques

Financial Planning:

• Understand your maternity/paternity leave options
• Budget for additional expenses (diapers, formula, childcare)
• Consider the cost of postpartum support services
• Plan for potential loss of income

Pillar 3: Active Support

Having the right support system in place is perhaps the most crucial element of positive postpartum planning. As mothers who have walked this path before say: “There is one solution to all the challenges that exist in postpartum: support. Practical, medical, peer, professional, financial, social and emotional support.”

Professional Support Team:

Perinatal Family GP:

• A healthcare provider who understands the unique needs of new families
• Someone who can monitor both your physical and mental health
• Available for questions and concerns as they arise

Lactation Consultant:

• Essential if you plan to breastfeed
• Can help troubleshoot feeding issues before they become major problems
• Provides evidence-based guidance and emotional support

Women’s Health Physiotherapist:

• Specializes in postpartum recovery
• Helps with core rehabilitation and pelvic floor health
• Addresses physical concerns specific to postpartum bodies

Mental Health Professional:

• A therapist or counselor familiar with perinatal mental health
• Can provide preventive support or intervention if needed
• Helps process the major life transition of becoming a parent

Personal Support Network:

Family and Friends Who Know How to Help:
The key here is “know how to help.” Well-meaning loved ones can sometimes add stress rather than relief. Before your baby arrives, have conversations about:

• What kind of help you’ll actually need (meals, cleaning, baby care)
• Your preferences for visitors and visiting hours
• How people can best support you emotionally
• Boundaries around advice-giving and decision-making

Partner Preparation:

• Discuss roles and responsibilities
• Plan for partner support during recovery
• Address expectations about household management
• Consider couples counseling as essential care

Creating Your Positive Postpartum Plan

Step 1: Assess Your Current Knowledge
– What do you know about postpartum recovery?
– Where are your knowledge gaps?
– What are your biggest fears or concerns?

Step 2: Build Your Education Foundation
– Read reputable books about postpartum (like “The Complete Guide to Postpartum”)
– Take classes focused on the fourth trimester
– Connect with other parents who’ve had positive experiences
– Consult with healthcare providers about what to expect

Step 3: Assemble Your Support Team
– Research and connect with professional support providers
– Have honest conversations with family and friends about expectations
– Consider hiring postpartum support services (doulas, housekeepers, meal services)
– Join new parent groups or online communities

Step 4: Prepare Practically
– Stock up on postpartum recovery supplies
– Prepare your home environment for easy baby care
– Organize meals and household management
– Set up comfortable spaces for feeding and resting

Step 5: Plan for Mental Health
– Identify warning signs of postpartum depression and anxiety
– Know who to call if you need mental health support
– Practice stress management techniques
– Consider therapy as essential care

The Reality Check: It Won’t Be Perfect

Even with the best planning, your postpartum experience won’t be perfect – and that’s completely normal. The goal isn’t perfection; it’s preparation. As one mother wisely shared: “If it’s not a problem for you, it’s not a problem.”

When you have realistic expectations, conscious preparation, and active support, you’re much better equipped to handle whatever challenges arise. Remember: “You are the best mum for your baby,” and “All your baby needs is for you to be exactly who you are.”

Remember that positive doesn’t mean easy. A positive postpartum experience can include difficult days, overwhelming moments, and unexpected challenges. What makes it positive is having the tools, knowledge, and support to navigate these challenges with confidence.

Wisdom from Mothers Who’ve Been There

Here’s what mothers who have walked this path want you to know:

• “The best way to be kind to your baby is to be kind to yourself.” – Amy
• “No-one knows what they’re doing.” – Mel
• “It takes time to get good at something: mothering is no different.” – Leesa
• “All your baby needs is you. It’s that hard and that simple.” – Corrine

When to Seek Additional Help

Even with excellent preparation, sometimes additional support is needed. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you experience:

• Persistent sadness or anxiety that interferes with daily life
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby
• Inability to sleep even when the opportunity arises
• Loss of interest in activities you normally enjoy
• Feeling like you’re not yourself

The Investment in Your Future

Planning for positive postpartum isn’t just about the first few weeks after birth – it’s an investment in your entire family’s future. When mothers are well-supported during the postpartum period, the benefits extend far beyond those early days:

• Better maternal mental health outcomes
• Stronger parent-child bonding
• More successful breastfeeding relationships
• Healthier family dynamics
• Reduced risk of postpartum depression and anxiety

Resources for Positive Postpartum Planning

Books:

• The Complete Guide to Postpartum (available first week of July 2025 in Australia, UK, and US)
• Evidence-based resources on fourth trimester preparation

Professional Support:

• Perinatal mental health specialists
• Lactation consultants
• Women’s health physiotherapists
• Postpartum doulas

Your Postpartum Journey Starts Now

The time to start planning for positive postpartum is now – during pregnancy, not after your baby arrives. By building realistic expectations, preparing consciously, and assembling active support, you’re setting the foundation for a strong, positive start to your parenting journey.

Remember, you don’t have to be perfect to have a positive postpartum experience. You just need to be prepared and supported.