Gen’s Second Birth Story: From IVF Struggles to Maternal-Assisted Delivery and Hyperemesis Gravidarum

After trying to conceive naturally for six months following her first birth, Gen found herself back in the IVF clinic, this time juggling appointments with a toddler in tow. Her second pregnancy brought challenges she hadn’t anticipated, including borderline hyperemesis that lasted well into her third trimester, but also the opportunity to process her first birth experience and advocate fiercely for what she wanted this time around.

Gen’s story shows her careful birth preparation, self-advocacy, and the importance of processing previous birth experiences. From her detailed birth debrief to her unwavering determination to achieve a maternal-assisted delivery. Gen shows us how knowledge, preparation, and the right support team can transform a birth experience. Her candid discussion of the realities of hyperemesis, the logistics of IVF with a toddler, and the unexpected challenges of hospital construction during postpartum recovery make this an episode that’s both deeply informative and refreshingly real.

The Journey Back to IVF

Gen’s path to her second pregnancy began with the sobering realisation that natural conception wasn’t going to happen for her family. “I ego wise, whatever, wanted to, but I didn’t realise how triggering every negative test would be. Cause it had been ages since I was out of that cycle of get your period, try, wait two weeks, take a test, negative, no line, you know.” After five to six months of trying, Gen and her husband Michael made the decision to return to IVF, despite well-meaning comments from others suggesting her body would “just know what to do” after her first pregnancy.

The reality of IVF with a toddler proved far more challenging than Gen had anticipated. “Doing IVF when you have a one year old is a fucking nightmare, to be honest with you,” she shares candidly. The logistics of managing appointments, blood tests, and monitoring whilst caring for Robbie created an enormous mental load. Gen describes dragging her son to early morning appointments, entertaining him with plastic cups during blood draws, and even singing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” during an internal ultrasound whilst he screamed in his pram.

When their first transfer failed, Gen felt a complex mix of disappointment and vindication: “There was a little bit of a vindication in that for me where I was like, well, see, I do need IVF. Like even the IVF didn’t work… it’s still hard even with IVF to get pregnant.” The couple chose to go straight into a second cycle, which successfully resulted in pregnancy with Roy.

Hyperemesis Gravidarum: The Hidden Struggle

Gen’s second pregnancy brought a level of nausea and vomiting that far exceeded her first experience. What began as manageable morning sickness at six weeks escalated dramatically by nine weeks. “When I got to nine weeks, holy shit, that hit me like a freight train. And I was like, this is bad. This is bad, bad.”

The severity of her symptoms became clear during a work trip to Sydney, where Gen found herself gripping a fellow passenger’s arm whilst dry-retching into a sick bag during turbulence. “I was so unwell on the plane… they almost didn’t let me fly home. I was so unwell.” It wasn’t until she heard a podcast episode featuring Beth from Birth with Beth that Gen realised the extent of her condition: “If she’s a medical professional and she’s saying that’s that, I was like, I am further down the line than that, I think.”

The food aversions were particularly challenging. “It’s not like I don’t want to eat. It’s like, imagine your worst favourite food. Like imagine a raw onion and imagine every time someone puts food on your plate, it’s a raw onion. That’s, I couldn’t even put food in my mouth.” Gen lost significant weight and describes one particularly frightening night when she woke up choking on vomit in her sleep.

By 32 weeks, with the help of multiple medications and IV fluids, the vomiting finally subsided, though eating remained difficult throughout the pregnancy. “It wasn’t until maybe 48 hours post-birth that I could eat. And that was the one thing I was really looking forward to.”

Processing the Past: The Power of Birth Debriefing

One of the most valuable steps Gen took in preparing for her second birth was completing a comprehensive birth debrief. “I didn’t realise how badly I needed that to process my first birth. Obviously I talked about it a lot, but not with a professional and also someone who’s a midwife who could tell me what these different decisions meant.”

This process proved transformative, helping Gen understand that her first birth experience shouldn’t have unfolded as it did. Her new obstetrician later confirmed this, telling her: “I didn’t want to say anything while you were pregnant, but that your first birth shouldn’t have happened the way it did. That I could understand why you were actually fairly traumatised by it.”

A Clear Birth Plan: Three Non-Negotiables

Learning from her first experience, Gen approached her second birth with a streamlined plan focused on three key goals:

1. Vaginal birth: “I don’t love the idea of recovering from a caesarean… For me, I wanted to have a vaginal delivery. Also having a baby already practically, I would be able to hopefully recover a little bit quicker.”
2. No induction: Gen was particularly adamant about avoiding the balloon induction she’d experienced previously. “Under no circumstances did I consent to having the balloon induction. And I just actually said to her before we even like signed on… if you said yes, I would not, I’m not going to go with you.”
3. Maternal-assisted delivery: “For no other reason than I saw Kourtney Kardashian do it a billion years ago on the Kardashian. And I just thought that looks so cool.” This goal became Gen’s primary focus, and she advocated for it with every person who entered her birth space.

Labour and Birth: A Different Experience

Gen’s labour began naturally at 39 weeks and 4 days, following a day of intense nesting behaviour that included demanding her father trim hedges around the pool. “I woke up that morning and I was like, dad, you need to come over and you need to… trim the hedges around the pool because I cannot, I cannot be in this house unless these hedges are trimmed.”

The early stages of labour were manageable, and Gen was able to labour at home for several hours before heading to hospital. However, progress was slower than expected, leading to some mental challenges. “I’d been labouring for maybe 12 hours, still every three minutes apart, but then they started to slow down… That’s when I was like, what have I done? This is my fault.”

When her obstetrician offered to break her waters to speed progress, Gen agreed. The moment revealed Roy’s deflexed position and resulted in thick meconium-stained waters. “Imagine buying a green, like a kale smoothie and leaving it in your car for a full day while you’re at work so it’s chunky. That is what came out of me.”

As labour intensified, Gen requested an epidural. “Pain relief, to me, I don’t see pain relief as an intervention. I like to frame it as a tool. I like to frame it as a gift.” The epidural was perfectly placed, allowing Gen to feel contractions without pain whilst maintaining mobility.

The Moment of Truth: Maternal-Assisted Delivery

After just one round of pushing, Gen achieved her dream of a maternal-assisted delivery. “She said to me, okay, the shoulders are out, you’re now going to… just reach down and grab him under his underarms and I just pull my own baby out of my body, which is all I wanted to do.”

The experience was transformative: “I will never forget this little swarm, slimy, tiny alien feeling between my palms as I pulled him out and just put him on my own chest… I just felt like such a powerful, strong woman to be able to pull my own baby out of my body.”

This moment represented healing from her first birth experience: “As someone who had a first birth, that was really a lot of complications… to just be able to pull this beautiful baby out of my own body… it just quashed all of that kind of negative talk in my mind.”

Postpartum Challenges: Hospital Construction and Reality

Gen’s postpartum experience was marred by unexpected hospital construction that made recovery nearly impossible. “I would have been better off giving birth on the set of the block with Scotty Cam as my midwife. That is how fucking loud this place was.” The jackhammer noise was so severe that hearing tests couldn’t be completed, and other families were in tears from the disruption.

Despite complaints, the hospital’s response was inadequate: “Then they gave me a pair of earplugs, like disposable earplugs. And they’re like, sorry, it is what it is.” Gen ultimately checked out as soon as medically possible, returning home to a toddler recovering from daycare illness.

Key Takeaways for Expectant Parents

Gen’s story offers several important insights for those preparing for birth:

The Importance of Processing Previous Experiences: Birth debriefing can be transformative in preparing for subsequent births and processing trauma.

Self-Advocacy is Essential: Gen’s unwavering focus on her maternal-assisted delivery goal shows the power of clear communication and persistence.

Pain Relief as a Tool: Gen’s perspective on epidurals as enabling rather than limiting can help others make informed decisions about pain management.

Hyperemesis Requires Professional Support: Severe pregnancy sickness shouldn’t be minimised or endured alone – medical intervention can be life-changing.

Postpartum Environment Matters: The importance of a supportive recovery environment cannot be understated.

This episode serves as both an educational resource and a source of hope for those facing similar challenges, demonstrating that with the right preparation, support, and advocacy, it’s possible to achieve a positive birth experience even after previous trauma.