Beth – three vaginal births, blended family, returning to motherhood with a 13-year age gap

Beth’s story begins with an honest reflection on her early motherhood journey. At just 20 years old, she found herself pregnant with Tyler – a surprise that would reshape her entire life trajectory. “I was not prepared or wanting to have a baby at all at that stage of my life. I was a social butterfly. I like to go out and be with my friends,” Beth recalls of that transformative time. Living at their parents’ houses and being “nurtured by our parents still because we were still children,” Beth acknowledges how young they truly were.

Her naivety about birth served her well initially: “I did no birthing classes. I went in completely naive to all of it. I just went, my body’s made for it, so it’s going to do it.” However, Tyler’s birth at exactly 41 weeks proved challenging with a posterior presentation lasting 12 hours. “All I could do was hunch over, you know, they ran the bath, got in the bath, get me out of the bath. I just was so uncomfortable,” she describes of the intense back labour and constant vomiting during contractions.

Beth also experienced hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) with Tyler: “I was extremely sick. I was in and out of hospital… I had lost, I think I’d lost between 12 and 14 kilos in the first couple of months because I could not even keep water down.” The lack of understanding from some medical professionals was frustrating: “some people were really sympathetic and then other nurses, doctors just dismissed me.”

Just 17 months later, Beth welcomed Ivy after conceiving immediately. “I bursted out crying because of the fear of being sick and just not coping with being sick,” she recalls upon discovering the second pregnancy. Fortunately, the HG with Ivy “lasted around the 14-15 week mark and then it went.”

Ivy’s birth was a stark contrast to Tyler’s: “Her birth was so calm. I just remember there being some pain but not extreme. I would have sleeps in between contractions. I was just relaxed.” However, she hemorrhaged after birth, and Ivy proved to be an extremely unsettled baby who “cried until she was about two years old” and “slept 30 minutes maximum at a time.” This period led Beth into postnatal depression. Remarkably, it wasn’t until Ivy was 11 that they discovered she had nasal blockages that would have affected her breathing and sleep as a baby.

The relationship with the children’s father ended when Tyler was four and Ivy was two. “We celebrated Tyler’s fourth birthday. We had everyone come over no one knew except for our parents and it was kind of like our last little family hurrah,” Beth shares. They established a successful co-parenting arrangement: “they’re with me for eight nights and then they go to their dad’s house for six nights.”

Eight years ago, Beth met Dean at a friend’s gathering in Terrigal. “I was so happy to be on my own. I had really worked on being independent because I had always been dependent,” she explains of her mindset at the time. Their relationship developed slowly, with both travelling separately before committing. Dean’s integration wasn’t immediate: “it didn’t come to him overnight about how to be a parent, be a step-parent… It took time, it took a lot of time but he has grown into the most amazing role model for these children.”

Early in their relationship, Beth was clear about her intentions: “I said to him, I am looking for someone that does want to have a baby. Because that is something that I see in my future.” Dean needed time to process this, but eventually came to the realisation that “he was never going to be ready. He just went, when am I going to be ready?”

When they began trying for a baby, the journey proved challenging. After a miscarriage at six weeks in July 2024, they didn’t conceive again until February 2025. “It felt like forever. It really felt like forever,” Beth shares of those difficult months. This time, she invested heavily in preparation: “I was going to Chinese medicine, I was getting acupuncture and I started seeing a naturopath as well… I was eating the healthiest food. I was not drinking a drop of alcohol.”

The pregnancy brought unique challenges, including night sickness: “My sickness started at around 3pm each day. So I had night sickness… I’d have to be in bed by seven.” She managed to hide this from the children for 10-11 weeks by saying she was “tired from work.”

At the 20-week scan, Beth received devastating news: “I also was told that I had a low-lying placenta… by 28 weeks it was it had cemented itself down there and then I was told to prepare for a cesarean.” The prospect was heartbreaking: “I was devastated. I was heartbroken… I had already planned in my head what was going to happen, how I was going to birth, what experience I was going to have with Dean.”

However, her midwife remained optimistic: “my midwife was certain my placenta was gonna move. She was like, it’s gonna move.” At 32 weeks, the miraculous happened: “the baby’s using the placenta as a pillow. It’s completely out of the way… It had moved within the four weeks.”

This pregnancy also saw Beth approach birth preparation completely differently. After watching a friend’s birth video triggered unexpected fear, she and Dean completed a comprehensive birth education course. “I wanted to know all the ins and outs. I wanted to know what was going to happen with my body. I wanted to know my choices,” she explains. “We just slowly went through the first couple. And then at one stage we did have a bit of a road trip. So me and Dean just binged it.”

The children’s excitement about the baby was palpable. Beth told them through letters from the baby: “I wrote a letter for each of them from the baby… They just were so excited because for a very long time they had asked us When are you having a baby?”

Labour began at 41 weeks and 2 days after three stretch and sweeps. “I woke up at midnight with I went yep it’s starting and the pains were coming they were quite fierce and they were regular,” Beth recalls. The TENS machine became invaluable: “I absolutely loved it. I didn’t want to take it off.”

At Gosford Hospital, her midwife Tenille had created the perfect environment: “she had it all set up beautifully for me… fairy lights and she had some candles and it was just, it was nice and dark.” However, labour slowed upon arrival: “once you leave home and you go to hospital environment, it can just slow down.”

The most challenging period came after nine hours of labour when Beth hit her crisis of confidence: “I hit the crisis of confidence and I just said I can’t do this anymore. I need pain relief.” A dose of morphine provided crucial rest: “my contractions went from that three minute mark to seven minutes and I had about a five minute sleep in between the contractions.”

Despite feeling exhausted and requesting an epidural, Beth discovered she was fully dilated when checked at 4pm. “she goes, Beth, you’re 10 centimetres… I didn’t say anything to her because I didn’t want her to know that I actually was getting the pushing sensation,” she admits of wanting the epidural despite her body’s readiness.

The pushing stage was remarkably quick: “three pushes later he was out. Head body.” Baby Milo arrived at 4:20pm, weighing 3.6kg, completely wrapped in his umbilical cord. “he actually was completely wrapped in his umbilical cord. So it was around the neck, around his arms, across his back… they think that during my labor that he wasn’t moving down because it was like a bungee cord.”

The moment of triumph was profound: “I just popped him straight to my chest and I just kept saying I did it, I did it, I did it, I did it. Like, cause I really got to a point that I didn’t think I could do it.”

Perhaps the most touching aspect of Beth’s story is how her older children embraced their new brother. The viral video of them meeting Milo captured pure joy, with Tyler immediately running to hug Beth in pride. “When she ran into the room, she like looked like six… she was just so excited. She was like, ‘this is my fair.’ And then she was like, ‘oh, you’re so cute,'” Beth describes of Ivy’s reaction.

Tyler’s emotional support during pregnancy was remarkable: “he would come home from school and he would be like, so how are you feeling today? How was your sleep? How’s your back?” When Beth had a moment of fear after watching a birth video, “he wrapped his arms around me and he said mom I know you can do it you’ve done it before.”

Now at two weeks postpartum, Beth is embracing this fourth trimester differently: “I really wanted to have a restful fourth trimester because I want my body to be the best that it can be for my children… I didn’t rest and recover after the first two because I didn’t know the importance of it.”

Beth’s story beautifully demonstrates how birth experiences evolve with preparation, supportive care, and different life circumstances. Her journey from naive young mother to informed, empowered birther shows the profound impact of education and trusting relationships with care providers. Most importantly, it highlights how love creates family and how children can be incredible sources of strength during the transformative journey of pregnancy and birth.