Shannon – A Midwife’s Journey: Perinatal Anxiety, Miscarriage, Two Empowering Birth Stories

As a midwife with a graduate certificate in perinatal mental health, Shannon thought she was prepared for pregnancy and birth. However, her experience taught her that professional knowledge doesn’t shield you from the profound emotional and physical challenges of becoming a mother. Her candid discussion about perinatal anxiety, the impact of her eating disorder history, and her breastfeeding journey with breast implants and suspected insufficient glandular tissue makes this episode essential listening for anyone supporting women through pregnancy and early motherhood.

Shannon’s two birth stories—both beautiful home births in her converted studio space—showcase the power of trusting your body, excellent midwifery care, and the importance of mental health support throughout the perinatal period.

Shannon’s Background & Conception Journey

Shannon has been a midwife since age 21 and works at one of South Australia’s major tertiary hospitals. Living in the picturesque Barossa Valley with her husband Ryan, she always assumed conception would be straightforward. However, their journey began during the challenging COVID-19 period in April 2020.

“We started trying to conceive in April 2020. I don’t know why we thought that would be a good time to have a baby,” Shannon reflects. After eight months without success, they began investigations, but all tests came back normal. “It ended up being 18 months of trying to conceive and we had booked in for IVF but thankfully we got pregnant just before we started that IVF journey.”

The emotional toll of fertility struggles while working as a midwife was particularly challenging: “It was hard because I was so desperate to be pregnant… I have a sister and two sisters-in-law and they all got pregnant during that time and of course I was so happy for them but it was hard to want something so badly and then everyone, it felt like everyone around me was pregnant at the time.”

Unexpected Perinatal Anxiety

Despite her professional background and graduate certificate in perinatal mental health, Shannon was completely unprepared for the severe anxiety that hit during early pregnancy. “I kind of got this immediate anxiety after I found out I was pregnant… by week six, I was like an absolute mess. I was so deeply anxious and depressed.”

The timing couldn’t have been more challenging: “It must have been the week or the week after I was pregnant, it was infant loss awareness week. And so my whole feed was like one in four women will experience miscarriage. And in my head, because I was the fourth sister… I was like, I’m the fourth one, I’m the one in four.”

Shannon’s honesty about the severity of her mental health struggles is both brave and important: “It really got to the point where I almost wanted to have a miscarriage because I just didn’t want to feel like that anymore… I even discussed like abortion with him and I knew like deep down I knew that that wasn’t what I wanted but at the time the feelings were so intense and scary.”

Planning for Birth Despite Mental Health Challenges

Choosing her birth team became crucial for Shannon’s wellbeing. Initially planning to use her hospital’s group practice programme, she discovered weight restrictions for home birth would likely exclude her. “I was probably about 90 kilos when I got pregnant. So I knew that I would be close to that hundred kilo cutoff mark for home birth… a couple of them were like, no, like it’s very strict.”

This led her to private midwifery care with Lena: “I had a phone call with my midwife, her name’s Lena, and yeah, we clicked straight away. She’s just, she’s amazing.”

Shannon’s preparation included hypnobirthing classes and The Birth Class: “I did a hypnobirthing class and I said that that was for my husband but it was actually it was really helpful for me as well… I also did your birth class and I loved that. I loved the hormones module and the using sound in labour. I found those two like so helpful.”

Hazel’s Birth – A Beautiful Home Water Birth

Labour began at 39+1 with gentle surges that Shannon initially dismissed: “I was one of those midwives who was in complete denial. I’m like, nah, I’ll go to 42 weeks. Like there’s no way I’ll have a baby, especially at 39 weeks.”

The night of active labour was transformative: “I really loved that night. It was just like me and my baby and I really got to like practice different positions… I listened to a few podcasts actually. I listened to Kat O’Connor’s episode and Julia Allen, they’re like my two favourite home birth episodes.”

A moment of doubt came when Shannon checked her cervix at 5am: “It was very disappointing. It was like I could barely even reach it, it was so high up, posterior… And that was like my crisis of confidence moment. I remember just looking in the mirror being like, you are so dumb to think you could have a home birth.”

However, her midwife’s guidance proved invaluable: “My midwife had text again and she said stop midwifing yourself and I was like you’re so right so I like I was like right let’s do this and I got up and yeah and I just really got in the zone from that point on.”

The birth itself was powerful and quick: “I asked her to do a VE and I was eight centimetres. And while she was doing it, my waters like burst all over the bed… I got in the water and it was just heaven. I really had that like rest and be thankful stage… then I started pushing. So it was very much like I wasn’t in control of it at all. My body just started pushing her out.”

“I actually only pushed for 12 minutes. So it was a really short second stage… I was very vocal at this point as well. I found that helped me. Like it made the pushing more productive to really grunt and be vocal.”

Immediate Postpartum & Mental Health Recovery

The moment of birth brought unexpected relief: “It was such a beautiful moment because I really had that immediate like love and connection which I guess I’d spent the whole pregnancy thinking that I wasn’t gonna have… I just felt like instant love and that was so, so nice.”

Breastfeeding Challenges & Body Image Journey

Shannon courageously shares her experience with breast implants and suspected insufficient glandular tissue (IGT): “I actually had breast implants when I had Hazel and I’d got them years ago when I was deep in my eating disorder. I very much hated my body… I also had suspected IGT, which means insufficient glandular tissue.”

The impact on breastfeeding was significant: “Day five when she’d like lost more than 12 percent of her weight and I had to start topping up that was really sad… any sort of sadness I felt in the postpartum was mainly linked to my milk supply.”

Shannon’s journey with donor milk and eventually having her implants removed shows incredible determination: “I actually topped her up with donor milk and I was so grateful I actually fed her till she was two, topping up with donor milk… I stopped because I actually had surgery to remove my implants when she was 11 months old.”

Charlie’s Conception & Birth

Between her children, Shannon experienced a miscarriage: “We did sadly have a miscarriage between Charlie and Hazel and he was, well, I felt that he was a little boy. We were going to call him Leo.”

Her second pregnancy brought different challenges but better mental health: “I felt scared, but I felt I guess reassured knowing like how much I loved being a mum and knowing that after pregnancy, like I felt amazing, truly like mentally I just was thriving.”

Charlie’s birth was even more straightforward: “I was in the shower and I was like, this is different. This is like proper labour… I got in the birth pool and I was just like, this is so much better than last time… I pushed for about 20 minutes and then he was born.”

Current Work & Future Plans

Shannon continues working as a midwife while completing her Master’s degree in midwifery. She’s also involved with innovative telehealth services: “I work for a company called Midwife Telehealth and so women can book appointments with midwives online… it’s really good for like women who are in rural areas or if they just have like a quick question.”

Key Takeaways for Listeners:

• Perinatal anxiety can affect anyone, including healthcare professionals
• The importance of having a supportive birth team who understand your needs
• Self-advocacy in choosing your model of care
• The reality of breastfeeding challenges and alternative feeding methods
• The value of honest conversations about mental health in pregnancy
• How subsequent pregnancies and births can be completely different experiences

Shannon’s story is a powerful reminder that knowledge and preparation, while valuable, don’t guarantee a smooth emotional journey through pregnancy and early motherhood. Her openness about mental health struggles, body image issues, and feeding challenges provides crucial representation for women facing similar experiences.

If you’re struggling with perinatal mental health, please reach out to PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia) on 1300 726 306 or visit panda.org.au