“We were friends before we started dating but three months afterwards we were pregnant. We were really shocked but we felt certain in the relationship and abortion never crossed my mind. We met both our families and at the same time announced we were pregnant. There was a lot going on!

“I was on a student visa and I had been on it for 12 months so thankfully I had medicare cover. I was about 18 weeks when we moved from Brisbane to Melbourne to be closer to family. I went to a random GP and she gave me a referral to the Royal Women’s but it was too late for MGP so I saw a different midwife at every appointment.

“My goal was to birth on all fours in a dark room and for it to be as natural as possible. We did the hospital birthing course and a hypnobirth class and I listened to your podcast and watched a lot of youtube videos. I had pretty consistent back and pelvic pain from 28 weeks so I couldn’t really stand up for more than 15 minutes. I had an overactive pelvic floor which caused shooting pain.

“I had marginal cord insertion so I had extra scans for monitoring and at one of them I was told that my baby was breech. She stayed breech but the hospital told me they didn’t do vaginal breech births and they wouldn’t recommend it anyway. I was offered an ECV but I was told that the chance of her turning was slim because it was my first baby and she’d been in that position since 28 weeks. I decided to decline the ECV because of the stress it would put on her and the possibility of an emergency caesarean. I felt more comfortable waiting for a planned caesarean. Because it was covid they actually sent me to the private hospital for the birth and recovery which was quite lovely – I had a great obstetrician and a private room.

“The anaesthetists talked me through the birth which was reassuring and we did delayed cord clamping and skin to skin. It was an amazing birth. It took me about two months to get used to breastfeeding but my mum is a midwife so whenever I was having trouble with the latch I would facetime her and she would talk me through it.

“I got my period at eight months postpartum and then I fell pregnant. I felt good about having another baby but I knew I had to look after myself. Being a full time stay at home mum was really hard for me that first year so we decided to put Florence in daycare a few days a week and I started seeing a psychologist to help me with the transition from one to two kids. I went through Mums Matter which was a great organisation. I also saw a great pelvic physiotherapist and when she did an internal she could tell my muscles were really tight so we did a lot of work around relaxing my pelvic floor.

“I didn’t have any morning sickness and most of the pregnancy was really straightforward and I was in a much better mindset because of the support I’d put in place. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I was determined to have a VBAC but because I’d had a past caesarean I only saw obstetricians. I was made aware of the risks of a VBAC but mostly whoever I saw was really supportive.

“I went into spontaneous labour and I was so relieved because my biggest fear was an induction. At 40+5 I had a stretch and sweep and then I had to go to hospital every few days for monitoring. I had three stretch and sweeps in total and the hospital policy was 40+10 for induction. An hour after the final stretch and sweep I lost my mucous plug and I was so happy. I went to sleep that night and woke at 1am with contractions which I’d had for weeks but they kept coming. At 5am I got out of bed and when Florence got up we called my mother in law to take care of her.

“I was in the bedroom and I did the miles circuit and walked up and down the stairs a lot. I expressed colostrum as well and labour ramped up really quickly. After an hour of contractions every few minutes I really felt like I needed to go to hospital. I went straight into birth suite and I was having doubts, especially considering the contractions were so close together. All my contractions were in my back so the midwives thought my baby was posterior but he wasn’t. They suggested the saline water injections but I’d never heard of them. I screamed like I’d never screamed before – the pain was absolutely awful. It took all my energy; those injections were the worst part of my labour.

“I started vomiting and then my waters broke. I asked for the epidural but the midwives encouraged me to wait for the obstetrician and when she came she did a vaginal examination and I was 6cm. It felt like I didn’t have anything left so I begged for an epidural. It went in and then they checked me and I was already 9cm. I could still feel everything, it just wasn’t as intense. I started pushing and Billy’s heart rate was dropping and not recovering so they told me that they really wanted him to be born within 20 minutes. I had more mental clarity thanks to the epidural and I was pushing well but he was a bit stuck so the obstetrician used the vacuum to help him down. She told me she wanted to do an episiotomy but I asked for four more contractions to get him out. Unfortunately he didn’t come so she gave me the episiotomy and we knew why after he was born; his head was in the 97th percentile. He was born and came straight to my chest. I was so excited and also a bit overwhelmed.

“The recovery was so different; I got up and had a shower and it was so much easier than a caesarean. I expressed and syringe fed him for the first few days because it took a few days for him to latch.”