“My husband and I have three children and our family is very much complete. Funnily enough, I always wanted a fourth baby. When my youngest turned three, I found myself really missing the pregnancy and birth journey and a friend of a friend – who was born without a uterus – was exploring surrogacy through Ukraine. I started doing some research andI joined the Surrogacy Australia Facebook group. There’s a lot of couples and single people who intend to be parents, too. I was scrolling through the intended parents and there were two men and I just felt like I needed to get to know them. At the time they were living in Iceland – they’re both medical professionals and were working there. They also had a base in Brisbane so I reached out and we arranged to catch up.

“When I told Craig, my husband, he went a shade of grey but then told me he would support me whatever I decided to do. We actually met Rory and Bob and we were both very nervous but we didn’t need to be because the second we met them it was like we’d known each other for years. I wanted to be a surrogate but I didn’t want to use my genetic material. Rory and Bob had a friend who wanted to donate her eggs and I was just going to be the oven.

“In Australia the intended parents aren’t allowed to ask the surrogate; the surrogate has to offer. After a few months Craig and I officially offered to be Rory and Bob’s village on their path to parenthood. We had to get counselling which involves psychiatric testing and the four of us as well as the egg donor were involved in that process. We did singular sessions and group sessions. For instance, if something was to happen during the pregnancy and it wasn’t viable, I get to decide what happens because it’s my body. Everyone needs to be agreeance and once that’s done we engage separate lawyers to draw up a contract. In Australia it also has to be altruistic so there’s no payment or gift involved. The surrogate can’t be out of pocket so all IVF and pregnancy and hospital bills are covered by the intended parents.

“Our surrogacy journey moved quite quickly – there was only a year between initial contact and the embryo transfer. Craig and I signed a contract to say we would abstain from intercourse seven days prior to embryo implantation. All I needed to do was go to the clinic, get the transfer and I started using progesterone pessaries .I knew I was pregnant straight away – I had all the signs and symptoms but I waited till the blood test to confirm with Rory and Bob.

“I was very hungry compared to my other pregnancies but all the other symptoms were the same – vivid dreams and exhaustion. We all went in for the eight-week scan and that’s where it all began. On that scan they only picked up one baby and then we had another appointment to see our obstetrician and I could see him scanning and we’re all looking at the screen and we could all see two babies. We all just burst out laughing.

“I was just so excited for them. I was also excited to experience a twin pregnancy and I was glad that I wasn’t going crazy because I was so hungry and I finally knew why. We had a gender reveal at their home and that’s when we discovered the twins were identical boys. They had two placentas and two sacs and that’s why there were questions about Craig and I abstaining from intercourse because they thought an embryo may have also been created by us alongside the embryo transfer. But we’d abstained so there was no way that happened. There were no concerns with growth restrictions or twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome so it was the most straightforward twin pregnancy.

“I really wanted a vaginal birth and Rory is a midwife. He was great because if I had any questions it was like I had a midwife on hand. I honestly felt really great; I didn’t feel too different to my singleton pregnancies. All my three births were easy and very fast labours so I was hoping for something similar with the twins.

“We’d booked an induction date but I had a spontaneous rupture of membranes. It was just after midnight and I noticed that I needed to go to the bathroom a lot. I had a shooting pain and I went to bed and googled: ‘how do you know if your waters are about to break’ and then I felt a huge gush. Craig and I were just laughing because everytime I moved more came gushing out. Rory and Bob were living in Toowoomba so they got straight in the car and Craig and I went to hospital. I was 35+5 and they were tracking at a really good size so we rolled with it.

“I wanted a safe delivery for the babies so I was happy to be guided by the obstetrician. I had an epidural cited but no medication unless necessary and we were all happy with that plan. I was six centimetres in a really short period of time and I have a high pain threshold and I was using my hypnobirthing techniques to navigate it. Like my other births, I knew when I was dilated and it was time to push and Hugo was born really easily. Rory caught him and then 15 minutes later Luca was born. I had Craig and Bob holding my hands and Rory catching the babies – it was a very emotional team effort.

“My obstetrician was there but just standing back. Bob cut Hugo’s cord and Craig cut Luca’s which was just so lovely. I birthed the placentas and Rory and Bob were with their boys. I antenatally expressed and gave them a few breastfeeds in hospital and then when I was discharged and I was expressing, I was looking at photos of my own children – not the twins – and I expressed more milk. My period returned at six weeks and I experienced a big drop in supply so I stopped expressing them. Overall I donated about 4 litres of milk to them.

“I would definitely do it again because it was such an amazing, empowering experience and I felt so well supported the entire time. In saying that, I don’t have plans to do it again at the moment.”

Australian Surrogacy Community – Facebook

Sarah Jefford – Surrogacy Lawyer